Heartbroken Girl

So....they came. My uncles and grandma, are here, in my house. And Its been 5 hours, and they were the most stressful in my life. My grandma is so clingy!!! I don't want to be rude and tell her to not touch me. BUT STILL!! She keeps grabbing my arm, I think its broken. She's not a frail old woman, she's quite strong, and healthy. So, I'm not being unfair. Its not like she needs the support by holding me, she just does it 'cause she apparently, 'loves my mom, but since she's dead, I use that love on you!' Gee, what a compliment. Makes me feel a whole lot better. >insert sarcasm rolling eyes here< I don't want to be a replacement for my mom!! My mom deserves all the love you can give her, I'm just a fragment of my mom. I am super glad my grandma is in the guest room!! I mean how am I supposed to fart without concern if she's in my room?!?! XDDD OMS Don't act like you don't think like that ;-; She has my bed, and the floor is killi...

. U_U NOW WE'RE STRESSED OUT!! .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ........ Wish I could turn back time, when mom sang us to sleep. But now we're stressed out..@_@ ....... ...... .... ... .. . Hey guys!! Its finally happening o_o and I'm freaking out majorly. Like, super total maxed out freak out. My grandma and uncles come here tomorrow. D_D SAVE ME!!! Its seriously happening, and I am so freaking scared. p_p I feel super stressed out, I don't want the people who annoy me most staying at my house for two weeks. WHERE IS THE FREAKING PRIVACY?!! Gosh, and my dad won't even stop pestering me about wanting to not have them sleep in my room. Why, would I want the person who annoys me the most to be beside me of every single framing moment of the day. Why? At least give me my room to chill!!! Where the heck am I supposed to go to cool off? Or have some me time? PRIVACY!! They're all ready using my personal bathroom, that I do not like sharing...

This is going to be a selfish post, but I just gotta say something... . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ .......... LOOL, Read this depressing post if you will. >_> ........ ....... ...... ..... .... ... .. . I am alone. I feel alone. I have no real friends. I'm literally alone. And I have been for 6 months. Now, that might not seem like a big deal, but when you have actually not had any human interaction that you enjoyed in those months, you start to get lonely. I feel as if its just going to be this way forever. As if I won't be able to find anyone who'll be capable of brightening up my day with a single 'hello' Maybe I will be like this for forever, maybe I won't have any physical friends until 2018. Maybe, I was meant to wait forever. To be alone. Gee, Niah, that's depressing. Well, yes, and I'm not done yet. What if I was never meant to love anyone, to care for anyone. What if I just grow old and die...

Yo!! Guys!!! *I am never saying that again* How you guys doing?? I am bored. As usual. I should be doing school work, but...meh. *throws schoolwork off cliff* >:D BE GONE!!!! BE GONE FOREVER!!!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA --- *chokes* *Cough* Anyway, back to whatever I was gonna say. AHHH I JUST HAD A THOUGHT! WHAT IF MY CRUSH FINDS MY BLOG O_O OMS NO. NO. NO. JUST NO. D_D Well, at least he'll be creeped out and make sure to block me in every way possible. That's not good. At all. Ermehstars I miss him so much...This song on the radio...'Wait for me, I know I'll find you.." That's so sweet. :333 TORI KELLY IS ON THE RADIO!!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!! YOU GO TORI!!! SPREAD GOD'S WORD!!!! HECK YEAH!!! Hey, did you guys know. My crush's mom gave me two watches, also it was his sisters idea. I shoudl wear it more often :333 Ugh, I still can't get over him. I just need him right now, I just wish....IS IT TO LATE TO SAY SORRY NOW!??!?! IM SORRY!!!!!! LOL Mkay, I have nothing...

Reunited hearts * .. ... .... ..... ....... ........ .......... ............ ............... .................. ...................... .......................... ............................ .............................. ||| I was having fun catching up with their family, it had been so long since I had seen them. It was almost like nothing had changed when I arrived that day. They were still the same loving family I had known before. I saw his sisters, but more importantly I saw him. I missed him so deeply, so greatly, I could never forget him, it had been almost 3 years now. I was finally here, standing in front of the one who I thought of constantly since the day I left. And his smile sent shivers down my spine, and a spike of happiness. He hugged me, but said nothing. I played around with his sisters, asked them how they were doing, played some games. And then I was left alone with him, I kept talking to him. He hardly said much, but he smiled when...

Guysssss!!! I just found out that they aren't related!!!!  >_<  YESH!!! Ermehstars! I. Ship. It. Hard. Oms! Jace and Clary >_>     SIMON IS SO ADORABLE!!! :3333  I just love how he said this to Clary, that he will always feel like he's alive as long as he remembers how it felt to love her. I think that's really cute :P So, Simon has a lot of girls now. xD We have, Maia, Isabelle, and maybe Clary. I love Maia, I think he should date her. She seems kind, and plus, it might settle some disagreements between night children. Isabelle is nice as well, but she seems kind of....wild. Life Stuff I have the flu. Its super annoying. I have to blow my nose every 5 seconds. BTW It is not fun. I am stuck in bed, and I have to sleep all the time. I just got bored and decided to visit my little thought sharing center. ;P If you are wondering what a flu is, it consists of: Runny nose, headache, body pain, fatigue, sore throat, and an extra period. Whic...

. Yo, dad, remember what you promised. No sneaking 'round my blog. o-o I'm watching you. <_< .. ... .... ..... ...... ...... ........ ......... .......... ........... BOOKS ARE FOOD FOR OUR BRAINS AND OUR EMOTIONS .......... ......... ........ .......  ...... ..... ....  ... .. . *cough* That should work!! Anywho!! So, there's this really annoying thing my does when we watch a movie. It goes like this: When I was under 11 years old. *kissing scene comes along* *makes barfing sounds* *covers eyes as dad proceeds to cover mine, super tightly* And now that I'm older: *kissing scene comes along* *freaks out about how cute it is* *they lean in and, SMACK! My dad's hand covers my freaking face. And its like a lock. You have to pry it off your face just to see what happened. LIKE WHAT DAD?!?! THIS IS THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE!!!! I'm freaking old now. I freaking write fan fiction for other people about there firs...

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR MORTAL INSTRUMENTS THE SECOND BOOK. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN SANITARY. MAJOR SPOILERS.  Hewo guys!! Oh my stars! I just started reading mortal instruments, and I'm on the second book now! *crosses fingers* *whispers* Jace and Clary can not be related to each other. can. not...*cough* I feel so bad for Simon, I mean if he was a werewolf at least he could be in the sunlight, and maybe be friends with Maia. BUT I MEAN, A VAMPIRE?! That is so freaking sad in my opinion. And since I have a book crush on him, is not helping this situation at all. Nada. Not at all. I mean, I still ship her with Simon. I'm afraid that he'll wake up one day and hate her guts. Hmm, one day, shouldn't it be one night? *cough* I mean I don't want her to use Aspen ( +Nicole Gordon ) as a life support *cough* I meant Simon as a life support. Like when something goes wrong she just makes out with him, which is seriously messed up. Like if she gets married ...

*Cough* PEOPLE OF PANEM!!!!! I have only read up to part three of the last hunger games book, so this is why I literally almost fainted from Finnick's death. PLEASE. DO NOT KILL ME FOR NOT READING THE WHOLE THING. s'il vous plait? Merci. GUYSSS!!!!! MY DAD SAID THE MOST HILARIOUS THING EVA!! Mkay, so, after watching the mockingjay part 2, (Although it really should have been tilted 2 and 3 -_-) and me shaking learning the fact she married Peeta and Finnick's death. Basically what I did before Finnick died was whisper, "I love you" Which was ironic, since I never actually loved him before. At all. I literally started to shake like crazy, and cried when he died. When Katniss said she loved Peeta, I wanted to throw something at her face. WTHECK?!?!?!?! KATNISSSS?!!?!?! I mean at least an apology to Gale would have made me happy. BUT HOW DID THEY END THE MOVIE?!! No apology. Zilch. Zero. Nada. So, lemme get to the funny part. I was going insane in the car, and break...

OH MY STARS GUYS!! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE VIEWS :DDDD IM SO HAPPY!! HERE'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! *realizes caps lock is on* ;-; Thanks so much!! And for your reward!! A story I wrote a few hours ago! Camera Girl, By ~ Niah∞Pe She couldn't remember how she came here, or why she was even here. She woke up to vast darkness, only one light she could follow. She walked towards the light and saw a silhouette of a man in the shadow of the light behind him. But her dream always ended there, she never could find out who this man was. Silvia walked around the room, trying to figure out what her dream meant. It was bothering her to much. She just didn't want to keep wondering. Silvia got dressed, and skipped breakfast. She grabbed her camera and ran to the city. She stopped to take a picture of a couple standing nearby. She ran further, searching for anything to take a picture of. She saw a butterfly, and tried to take a picture of it, before she could take a picture the ...

Hey guys!! So I changed the background again. I know, I know, confusion. But, its so freaking pretty!!! XDD Mkay, that's all I have to say. Bye!!

Okay!! So, I finished reading 'The Heir' and....:33333333333 YES!! JUST YES!!! SHE IS FINALLY SAYING SHE WILL GET MARRIED!!! UGH!! THE SHIPS!! THERE'S TO MANY I CANT SEE THE OCEAN!! People I ship with Eadlyn: Kyle, Erik, and Henri! So, I will make a dream cast after the next book comes out :DD So just wait! BTW: THE NEXT BOOK COVER IS SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!! I just love that purple! So sparkly, and strong. 

I CAN NOT STOP FANGIRLING OVER THIS BOOK SERIES!!!!!! IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU HAVE TO READ 'THE SELECTION' ITS THE BEST. BOOK. EVER. SO!! I made a dream cast for the first series. Do you like it?!?! I mean, apparently the next series said that Aspen got even handsomer with age. :3333 Aspen.....:333

I know that finding your partner in life is important. And that people can't wait to get married. But I never want to get married. Now, if you think that you certainly want to get married, do not read this. I for one, am freaking scared of marriage and what comes after. I don't mind getting married, I just don't want to have children, or have sex. Sex is supposed to be normal, but for me that just terrifies me. I told my parents one day about a dream I had, I said it was a nightmare. I had 3 children, and was married. My parents thought I was nutters. Sometimes I wish I wasn't born. Because I know how I was created in the world I live in, just freaks me out. I hate that men have an urge to have sex, they me be your perfect man. And they may wait till marriage, but I don't want it ever. I know when I was little, we would talk about having children. But its all to much to take in. I also have a great fear of pregnant people. Its scary. I can't look at a person who...

Why hello there you fine looking bunch!! Imma be talking bout some serious stuff here. Prepare for a funeral you all, because this is gonna get sad. Last night I had a dream about 2 or 3 times, every night, repetitively. Now, I had a friend named Mia, she was basically like a little sister to me. I used to play with her after church, I haven't seen her for two years, so I don't understand why I started to just think about her. So there I was, in my dream, possibly on the second floor or higher of this odd building. My dad was their wearing a suit, and my dogs that I used to own 2 years ago, were also there. That was weird, because my grandma takes care of them now far away from where I live. Anyway, the surrounding area was like antique, creepily old. Then Mia's grandma and brother came up the stairs and were greeted by my dogs. I woke up, and I asked a couple people what this would mean. I came to the conclusion, that my friend, was dead. I'm not completely sure, but w...

Hey guys....a serious of random thoughts to my dear no one... I will love you, wherever you are, whoever you are. I pledge to be loyal if you pledge to do the same. I will care for you, and I will love you like we were meeting all over again. If you are my other half, I just want you to know that I hope you are ready, I hope you know that God is the only person who can control the end and the beginning of us. I wait patiently for you, every day I sit, waiting for the day when I will see you. If you're out there, I hope you know that we are only waiting for each other. And when the time comes, we will find each other. I will care for you dearly, and cherish ever single moment with you. I just hope you know that I will always think of you, my dear no one. Uhhhh...to tired to think....sorry... I wait for the day that I will find you, the day I will be ready to see you. The day that God will open up the doors to my heart for you. And when God takes the key and unlocks my heart, my ...

OH MY STARS!! I have readers of my blog in Russia! XD That's amazing :33 And everyone else ou there thanks for stopping by :P Love you cupcakes!

Heyo peeps! I may have forgotten to mention that I am a bookworm ;-; Don't kill me '-' BOOKS4LYFE! It is literally impossible to live without them. Literally. Impossible. Reply to this post telling me about your favorite books, and what they're about. I'll see to it that I read it, as long as its appropriate :DD Bye, my cupcakes!

She was a plain and simple girl. She never wanted to stand out. She never wanted to grow-up. That was why she loved Peter-pan so much, because she loved to think that if she wished hard enough she would never have to grow up. She never wanted to talk about boys. It made her feel awkward, like it was another part of her trying to become a teenager. She would not accept that she was in fact not getting younger. She had the perfect grades. If she ever got 1 question wrong she would not be happy about it. She was a good student, but she wasn't maturing fast enough like the other girls she knew. She didn't tell them to stop having fun talking about mature things, like make up, or boys. She just silently left, until you realized she was gone. She only liked this one boy though. She would never tell anyone. Sometimes she scolded herself for blushing when she mentioned him. Up till this day, she is still embarrassed about the time they got married when they were little. She wondered...

Hey!! So I just thought I would tell you a little something. :D You see, I liked this guy a lot once, and he inspired me to cry all night and write poems. D: I stopped thinking about it to much, and moved on. But you see, you never really move on. You simply just push it farther away. Its always there, every time you think of it. Fresh as the day you started crying :'( Sometimes I like to re-live those memories, remember how much I wanted to close any physical distant between us and just be close to him. Or even maybe get a kiss on the cheek. I will consider that as a first kiss. :DD I have no dirty thoughts o-o I only go to areas of cheek kissing and hugging. Beyond that? Nu-uh. I just like to remember his smile, or his laughter. The times when I wished I had said something. And all the, 'What if's?' Get bigger, until finally I just can't take the overwhelming amount of feels! And to know that he liked me back, made my heart stop. *more than usually ;)* My dad ment...

Do you ever feel alone? No one their to talk to. No one to share a story with. No one to have fun with. Your just alone...I feel like that a lot. I hate not having any friends at all. I don't know why I can't find anyone. I've never had this situation before. Let me tell you that it sucks. Who wants to be by themselves? My dad keeps saying that I have him, and God. Of course I know that! But its not the same. I tried to talk to my dad, all he said was he was a loner for a long time and he was fine. How is that supposed to encoruage me? You can't tell someone that. That they will be alone. Alone for a long time. For goodness sake! I can't talk to anyone, I just have this stupid blog that no one reads. I pretends I'm writing to someone, but I'm not. My uncles prayed that I would have friends, but my dad gets upset!!! WHAT THE HECK?!!?? How is that ever fair?? So now that I'm socially incapable of not having friends, my dad doesn't want my uncles to pra...

I'm serious. It does suck a lot. Like, why did God have to make us suffer? :O I just realized something, if we never felt pain before...then puberty might not have sucked so much...Was Adam a baby when he was born? Or did God just make a grown man...? o-o The unknown mystery. xD Mkay, back to the topic of puberty sucks. One word to describe it all: Pain. My teeth are going to give me more headaches than ever before. STAHP FALLING OUT! My dad is gonna start teasing me when it falls out, like so, "Oh!! Look! Its a granny!!" While he smiles and points at my teeth. ;-; Really dad? Not funny. At all. Your turn, tell us about your sucky puberty experiences at the moment, or however old you are '-' Mkay!! Bye!

OH MY STARS!! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THIS BOY I LIKED 1 1/2 YEARS AGO LIKED ME!!!!!! *dies* *hyperventilates* I can't even!! :333 But how did he like me, and another girl at the same time? Maybe I shouldn't have freaked out about her.....Maybe he really liked me instead....:33333 I JUST CANT!!!! HELP!!! OH MY STARS!!! He was such a good friend...but having a crush on someone who eventually starts to like you back......*dies again* *sigh* I wish I still talked to him after I moved away...I miss him a lot now. D: Hahahaha I just had to write this down. If anyone reads this they should really start giving suggestions, because I feel so alone here ;-; *shouts* HELLO?! *echo* -_- I guess I am alone here *-*

Hey! I removed this post for privacy purposes, sorry if you were reading it D: If you want to read it just reply to this post and I'll share it to you :) Mkay, bye!!

Hey! I'm sure most of you are wondering, what's your story? Well, I'll tell you soon. I just haven't found the time....But I'll tell you why my life is this way, and why I'm so deep sometimes xD. I had quite a hard life, but luckily my parents were always loving to me. I think my mom was the one who really needed all the love. So, stay tuned for the very, very, very long blog post!! :DD See ya!!

I AM SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! I already have like this giant list of presents xD I can't wait!!! But we all know that Christmas isn't just about presents. :D So, I updated my background, and changed the color for the blog title. If you were wondering ;) Honestly, I feel like I' writing to myself, well I am, but I guess some people read this stuff. I guess...So here's a Christmas story I was going to submit for a contest, but never finished. But you can pretty much guess what happens next ;) Also, my friend read it, and did some massive editing jobs. I suck at punctuation. :P Story Time :D I woke up to the smell of the sweet cinnamon smell of a candle that was burning. I was glad it was the weekend, if it wasn't I could've sworn I would break down in tears at the very sound of, "Your holiday is over." Of course Christmas was in a week, and I had quite a lot of time before then. I had already collected the gifts and hid them in my closet. The...

Why are we always ignored? When are feelings are hurt, and we need help the most, why does it feel like no one is there? It feels like your in a dessert, and you stand there calling for help, and yet no one seems to hear a single thing you say. You could be in a huge crowd of people and cry for help, but people will just brush you off their shoulder like your nothing. Like your a piece of dirt, why do I feel so small. Like an atom inside an atom that just keeps getting smaller. What is life when you feel like you have nothing to live for, when you feel so sad and empty. When you feel like no one will love you, no one will care. Where is that boy who will keep me company? Or even a best friend who will always be there for me? I have none of these things, I don't have a friend in the world who really cares about me. I am alone, a lifeless being as I am. With no purpose. I wake up, do school, go to bed. But whats the point? I feel like there is no point to anything anymore, like I...

Hewo!! So I'm gonna talk about some deep stuff here, deep. This has been on my mind for a while and I just wanted to write it down before I forgot. Here it goes, What's the point of living? We must live for God, and walk with him. You must have hope in life, and live life to its full purpose. Why do we live? We live because we have the will to, we live because we still have hope. Everyone has hope, I'm sure all of you do. Even if its just the tiniest sliver of it. Why don't we just kill ourselves? By killing yourself you will burn in eternal hell, now, I don't know about you but that does not sound fun. You must wait for God to take your life, because he has the authority over it. People usually kill themselves because they are selfish, they always think, 'Why do I have to live?' 'What is the point in me living?' You see? Just themselves, if you're considering suicide, don't do it. Resolve your problems, go the police, get counselin...

Hey! So, I haven't written in a while, because I have nothing exciting to talk about. D: So this is a really short post........I just hate school o_o a lot ;-; I mean, they give you work, and then in return all you every do is die all the time. It was like school was designed to kill people. u_u Its scary. I mean, you probably already came up with a thousand things that teachers probably do to make us all suffer. Its so common to find teachers who don't actually care for their students, its really sad....I hope teachers will see how important their job is. So, thats it for now! Ttyl :DDD

You know I really like the song Avicii ~ Waiting for love. It means a lot, because I can wait all I want, but until God decides, I'll have to keep waiting. So! #ThrowbackTuesday!!! I've written this poem along time ago. Here it is: I want to go back, and explain how much you mean to me. So that I can tell you the truth. Tell you that I care for you. I would take a time machine just to see your face again, I would get lost without the light of your joy guiding me towards you. We may be apart halfway around the world, but love is inseparable by distance. Love is stronger than that. Love is forged by the glance I took just to see you smile, its when I paused a second to long into your eyes and got lost in them, its when we laughed and never wanted it to end. When you hugged me, and my heart leaped for joy. When he finally said goodbye for the last time, and how my heart shattered into uncountable pieces never to be picked up and put back together. But thats okay. Memo...

Hello! So, yeah, I guess this will be my school diary!! Cool, right? So, I'll right stuff down here as I go through my school years :D.  I'm really stressed out, I don't know what to do, sometimes. I wish life wasn't so hard D: I don't have a crush on this guy, but I'm forcing myself to. I know I do it, because when someone asks me if I like someone, I obviously want to say yes. Now, I am crushless XDD I mean, I want to say I do, because I really want to. But I just can't find anyone who's completely snatched my heart away. It sucks I have to wait till next year until I find someone. Its because I have this time period, every two years I fall for someone. Now, that I desperately need someone to fall for, there isn't going to be anybody for so long. I'm like the opposite of the picture: *just open it later* I don't want the arrow to stay away from me, I wrote romance stories for people all the time. But what about me? Don't I get a sto...