What I wish could happen to me. Because I .... so much

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I was having fun catching up with their family, it had been so long since I had seen them. It was almost like nothing had changed when I arrived that day. They were still the same loving family I had known before. I saw his sisters, but more importantly I saw him. I missed him so deeply, so greatly, I could never forget him, it had been almost 3 years now. I was finally here, standing in front of the one who I thought of constantly since the day I left. And his smile sent shivers down my spine, and a spike of happiness. He hugged me, but said nothing. I played around with his sisters, asked them how they were doing, played some games. And then I was left alone with him, I kept talking to him. He hardly said much, but he smiled when I said something funny. I was glad we were friends because it made it less awkward to be around him, it seemed different almost. He was in fact 2 years older than me. He matured the a bit more, but he still had that playful look in his eyes. Just before I could speak, he cut me off. His tone was serious, he asked me if I ever liked him. I was shocked by this sudden question and decided to answer in a more friendly way. I told him, yes, I do like you. But in what way? He took awhile to answer this, I on the other hand was getting quite warm with growing embarrassment. Finally, after many terrifying seconds. He spoke again, I meant, did you ever like me in a more….not just a friend way?….I paused, did he not know how long I thought of him? Every time, every second, he was the source of comfort in my heart that I thought of when I was sad, or simply because I felt I needed him at that moment. I spoke of him to others with such feeling of love, and sadness that I couldn't help but smile when his name was ever mentioned. He took up the space in my diary, poems, stories, and heart. I never liked to use the word love, but I suppose like isn't the word for a love like the one I had. I answered him, Yes, I -, I couldn't continue, not now, the words were like an overflowing cup of the confessions of my feelings, if I let one out, it would all come out. I couldn't, not now. I felt a rising blush in my cheek as the silence grew stronger. Why? I asked, Why do you need to know? I started to sound defensive as if I was guarding myself, but why was I? He turned to look at me, suddenly at arms length beside me. I…I just wanted to know, if you feel the same way you used to 3 years ago…I couldn't seem to forget you, you were always there in the back of my mind, it was to hard to move on. I woke up happily on the days I knew I would see you. It was to obvious my mom figured it out. I just didn't want to think of someone the way they wouldn't ever think of me. So, I need to know, do you? He asked the last part so softly, that I thought I may have been paralyzed by his voice. I couldn't seem to breath. This was what I always wish he would say, but was to afraid for it to actually happen. Now here I was, with the question I feared and loved all the same. 

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